So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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