k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
