if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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