I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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