Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pants are for mortals
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
