Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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