I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
