oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I love having hate sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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