I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
