He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
