im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
