I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
