We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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