pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize