think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
