I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
