is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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