You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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