I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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