Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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