we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
