Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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