YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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