I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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