I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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