Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
