He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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