I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
