She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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