CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
