So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
