please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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