if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
