So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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