i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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