i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
