The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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