It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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