I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
