batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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