i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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