Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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