my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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