She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
