I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
