tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So. Much. Porn.
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