It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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