Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
