Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
