Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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