Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
