this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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