gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
