Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
