i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
