The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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