this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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